Why I Love My Family

An email I wrote last night to my mom's family generated some back-and-forth:
Thought you all would enjoy a photo of me and N. out on the town in Wicker Park on Friday night. She's doing an art internship here in Chicago this semester, so my brother and I are showing her around a bit.
From my uncle the rocket scientist:
How come your eyes are so red?

My cousin in Florida:
Allergies, I'm sure!

A private message from my cousin in the photo:
My god…that picture is horrible. Next time let me know before you post pictures of me.

A private message from our aunt a few minutes later:
That's a nice picture of you both!

From my cousin in Champaign makes nice:
Aw, fun! Next time I'm up in Chicagoland I'll have to come visit. It would be fun to get all the cousins together and go out on the town sometime. It's been awhile since we've had a big family get-together. Summer is coming up quickly.... how bout this warm weather, eh? It's wearing down our 5-feet snowdrifts down here!

My mom starts teasing (I think):
I want to know why they aren't wearing very many clothes...I remember distinctly that it was -7 F. that night without the windchill.

From my 26-yr-old cousin in Florida again (can you tell he's single?):
And they probably had to wait in line...I complain when it's 50 degrees and I have to wait in line...crazy Chicago women are nuts.
Then again, they probably didn't wait in line. Theresa probably knew the $8/hour doorman who has a God complex because he can let people in ahead of the line, or because they showed up at 9pm.
Teasing, all! Bet you had fun. I always enjoy the bars in Chicago - change of pace. Although I must throw in that I am not overwhelmed with flirty hotness up north like I'm used to at my haunts down here.

From my cousin N.'s mom in North Carolina:
I keep hearing all this complaining about how cold it is. Guess it was warm enough in there. But when you are full of ethanol, an antifreeze, you are not going to feel the cold!

My cousin in Florida weighs in:
The scientific explanation for why I don't feel cold when stumbling three blocks home from the bars at 2am!!

A response from my cousin in Champaign:
Haha, I think the scientific explanation is YOU ARE IN FLORIDA! Sorry, couldn't resist.

And I couldn't resist this one:
The guys we were with kept us plenty warm. Also, I was wearing a sweater.