You Drink Like You're Single

Recently, my love life has consisted of the following:

~being asked out by my taxi driver. Guys, this is not fun. You can't escape, and when they keep asking and you rack your brains to think of more and more ways to say 'no' politely, the ride can't end quickly enough.
LESSON LEARNED: when told cab driver is from Bombay, do not say, "Oh, Mumbai! Do you ever do bhangra?" And when asked if you've ever dated an Indian, never say, "Oh, a couple of Gujaratis, a Punjabi, a guy from Kerala. Oh, and a Bangledeshi." (Note: I use 'dated' loosely.)

~spending two months emailing an acquaintance I have a crush on, only to have him finally come to an event my friends & I were attending and then email to tell me I was "hospitable."
LESSON LEARNED: There aren't too many worse adjectives to use on a girl.

~getting tricked into going on a date. A friendly acquaintance I'd recently bumped into (who incidentally knows the guy listed below) called me on a Monday night. "I'm starving, wanna grab something to eat in about 20 minutes?" I had to run some errands; he offered to help me drop off a box and get another from a mutual friend. This doesn't sound much like a date, does it? At least it didn't until he started in: "Oh my god, you have such skinny knees!" "Your teeth are the most perfect I've seen." "I love your hair, it's amazing." "Wow, you have such beautiful hands." Believe it or not, I've been complimented on all of these before (yes, even the knees). The lustre is lost with trite compliments, not to mention emanating from someone I don't want them coming from.
LESSON LEARNED: Sometimes there's just no way to get out of a goodbye kiss.

~running into an oh-so-cute guy for the fifth time at yet another open bar, only to discover he was going my way after the free drinks finished. When we shared a cab, not only did he not invite me to extend the evening at the bar he was heading to, he let me pay for the entire ride to my place. Then, after another open bar, he emailed and mentioned that the night he didn't invite me along he ended up hooking up with a random girl he knew in high school.
LESSON LEARNED: Uh, isn't this obvious?

Thanks be to the gods I have other single friends with equally horrific and/or nonexistant dating lives. What would I do without you all?