Reason #1367 Why Theresa Is Single
At various times I have crushes. I know, hard to believe, innit? One of my OOAs (Objects Of Affection) at the moment will likely never date me because:
- I tried hooking him up with one of my friends.*
- I continuously mention kissing guys at parties.**
- When we were walking in a residential neighborhood, he spied three rabbits in a front lawn. "Ooooh, bunnies!" I cooed, crouching down for a better look and continuing, "When baby bunnies get killed they scream like small children." There was a pause as he looked at me in horror. "You should never live in the country again," he told me. "Stay in cities forever."***
*Never fight over a guy, right?
**It's not like I'm running around kissing people. They are kissing me. Subtle semantical difference lost on most people, least of all my OOA.
***I have no defense. Other than that they do. My cat used to eat them all the time. Trama, what?
posted by Theresa @ 5/10/2007 12:41:00 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Don't blame your small bunny killing days on your cat. I see the pattern. When you were a kid, you killed bunnies. Now you kill hearts (oooo, snap!). Do hearts have a little child screaming voice? Or does is just sound like whimpering men?
Vince
They die quietly, so quietly in fact that one can't hear them over the ferocious smiling of their owners.
Too cliche?
Right now, I'm staying with my friend Eric in Champaign. The one of the cats here, the one brave enough to come out in the open, finds great interest in my things, sniffing them each in turn. It refuses to come near me. I don't know why I mention this, but in all the talk of cats, it occurred to me, so I thought I'd share. For whatever reason, it amuses me.
Just a thought, but have you ever considered being direct with people? (Not that I'm in any position to give advice :P)
Speaking of kissing guys at parties, I once kissed my sister's boyfriend. She thought it was cute. Ah, the things men can get away with when they're heterosexual.
Kurt, that's the best story ever. There should be more guy-on-guy kissing. Girls do indeed find it...'cute.'
Theresa, that's sweet. Let me know when your next party is, and I'll see if there's a chance I can spread some cuteness around.
I'm glad you didn't say "When small children get killed they scream like baby bunnies." It's subtly different from what you said, but there are worse misunderstandings than the one about kissing or being kissed.
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