I'm A Survivor
I wrote this to my mother's side of the family a week or so ago, but no one responded. Maybe one of you will!
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Since one of my hobbies is getting experimental vaccines, I recently got one for bird flu.
When I told the doctor my arm hurt for a week after the first shot, he said he couldn't say with 100% certainty that I received the vaccine (since it was a double blind). But that since the vaccine in the U.S. is agains the same strain as the one in Indonesia that was just proved to be effective, and I have a reaction to it, he thought I would most likely be "a survivor."
This made me feel great -- until a friend pointed out that as a female surivor of the inevitable pandemic, I would probably get attacked by all the males who made it through.
"You've been watching 28 Days Later, haven't you?" I asked. [female survivors of an epidemic are rescued at the last minute by a group of soldiers bent on gangbanging]
Turns out he owns it. Go figure.
So maybe I shouldn't have gotten the vaccine... Whoops!
Just like The Birds!
Labels: Chicago
posted by Theresa @ 4/22/2008 12:40:00 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
So you basically want to know if someone would fuck you if you were the last woman on Earth? Nice self-esteem you've got there.
mmmm, let me clarify my position on the bird flu survival thing...
I just think Chicago would end up looking like something out of Mad Max, and while that was an awesome movie...I definitely wouldn't want to be alive. and in your case, really. what happens to pretty girls who can't ride motorcycles and aren't good at shooting people to high hell? bad stuff.
My dear Cavinicus, I'm saying that I don't want to be raped to death if I were the last woman alive after an epidemic. Looks like I'd better start stockpiling the ammunition. Dear oh dear.
Sounds to me like you'd rather die than be treated like a sex-goddess in a post-apocalyptic world. Got your priorities straight?
I mean, getting raped by the hoards of suburbanites and self-styled warlords from Skokie who survive the pandemic due to low population density will just be the icing on the shit-cake. quality of life will go down the toilet in literally every respect. one of the things that keeps me up at night is the knowledge that my bad vision will make me a sitting duck once my glasses inevitably break/are stolen/taken from me by a large man who's driven in from Joliet on his chariot drawn by skinny hipster slaves. maybe they'll be nicer to you since you're a Republican?
I think she will only be gang raped over and over again if she STAYS in Chicago. She won't be here when the gobs of zombies come after her. She and I will have slipped through the quarantine border and made our way to our designated safe spots to meet up with family and other survivalists. She knows she is more than welcome to live in the woods with me and my family. In fact, I think she and my brother would make a very cute couple, in that warrior/wench Outlander Braveheart kind of way...
The only problem I forsee is if my dear Cranberry Girl and her family also succumb to the bird flu. If that is the case, I shall attempt to align myself with a protector ASAP (and if he resembles the Mad Max-era Mel Gibson, sans the penchant for dog food, so much the better).
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