Love Is In The Air

Below, the dress I shall wear to four separate weddings this summer. Possibly more: anyone need a date to a wedding? Cuz I'm ready. I promise next time I'll do something better with my hair.


And in keeping with the subject line, I thought you might be amused by an occurance on Friday eve. My friend Nora and I went to a birthday celebration in the Gold Coast, the ritziest area of Chicago. Where two streets angle into one another is the "Viagra Triangle"--an apt name considering the number of fat old businessment ogling the beauties that walk by. Or, I should say, the women who are so blonde, so tan, and so augmented that they pass for beauties.

I shouldn't have been surprised when the inebriated neighbor of the birthday girl came over. Invading my personal space, he slurred into my ear, asking where I lived.
"I live in West Town, which is east of Ukrainian Vill--"
"I just bought a penthouse condo," he interrupted. "In the Gold Coast. Yeah, that's where my penthouse condo is. You should come watch a DVD in my penthouse condo."

I swear, he really did mention his penthouse condo ("Did I mention I bought a penthouse condo?") four times in as many minutes.

Even in his drunken stupor he noticed I wasn't being swayed, so he grabbed my hand and put it on his stomach. "Feel that?" he asked. "Six pack!"

I've told this story to a couple of friends, who asked if he was being facetious. I know it's difficult for someone like us to imagine, but he was entirely serious. Apparently this is what passes as a pick-up line in the Gold Coast, for the people there tend to be either out to display their riches, or trolling for somebody richer (or blonder, or tanner). It's insulting to my person-hood that I would be swayed by the fact someone is well off, when they're a pretentious drunken boor.

My roommate used to live in Naperville, an affluent, homegenous suburb of Chicago. There he encountered many women who all agreed that "it's not only about the car. I mean, he has to have something else in addition to the car--and the house, and the money." How sad is that? Me, I'm most impressed by the fact we can have a conversation. "And you've read books? Really? And travelled? Great! And you have enough cash to go to a movie once in a while? Jackpot!"

Something tells me I won't find a guy like that in the Gold Coast.