Why, Oh Why, Aren't We Still in The Commonwealth?

I'm growing more discouraged by the minute. As you all know, I have a work permit allowing me to stay here for six months. It cannot be extended, and it's a one-time deal. That's it. If I want to get a work visa through the same programme I'll have to go to Ireland, New Zealand, Australia or Canada. And while that might be nice, I'd rather just stay in London, thank you very much.

So I need to figure out how to get another job.

Step #1: Start looking for jobs. I'm starting to do this by looking at newspapers. Well, I've bought a newspaper. Still need to look at it.
Step #2: Convince an employer to hire me. Easier said than done.

My friend Allison landed a job as an engineer in Glasgow--absolutely perfect since her English boyfriend is getting his Master's there. Well, if she can do it, I can do it, too, right?

Uh, right.

I started to freak out yesterday when I read the requirements for being a Highly Skilled Migrant Worker. Basically you have to collect a certain number of points for various qualifications such as education (lots of points if you're a PhD), past jobs, and current salary (you need to make over £40,000).

Well, I'm SOL on that one.

Not to be daunted, I emailed Allison, who told me not to worry about visa requirements, but just apply to jobs. She applied to 15 and got two interviews.

But she's an engineer.

So I did what I should've done all along and made some phonecalls to the Home Office and Work Permits U.K., the latter of which handles the actual work permit process. All I need to do is direct my future employer to the website, where they can print out a form and submit it. The guy on the end of the phone told me that it's fairly simple: all they have to do is show that they've advertised the job and were unable to recruit locally--i.e. there weren't any suitable Britons who applied for the job.

Easy, right?

Oh, but here's the rub: the chances of my getting a job in something administrative or clerical (the only thing I have experience in at this point) is rather limited. Usually, the guy told me, the job is based on your degree. Which is fine for Allison with her degree in engineering.

But I'm a Classics major. With a Linguistics minor.

SHIT.

So at this point, to stay in the country I need to either:
1.) Make a friend who can hire me
2.) Get married--yes, married, not just engaged--to a Briton

If I just get engaged, I can stay here for up to six months but I can't work. If I get married, I can work and stay here for two years, after which I can apply to live here permanently.

Or I could somehow change the past and make the U.S. part of the Commonwealth, in which case I could stay. Or make one of my grandparents a British citizen. Too bad all my ancestors left England, Scotland and Wales in the 1700 and 1800s, not the 1940s.


The last thing I want to do with my life is give in to my destiny as a UofI graduate: move to Chicago, work for a while, get married, move to the suburbs, pop out a couple of kids and get a dog. That's fine for other people--in fact, I'm positive that many of my friends will end up like that, and some of my relatives already have--but it's not for me.

So I guess I'll just have to live a peripatetic lifestyle hopping from country after country in Eastern Europe, teaching English. Provided I have certification. Which requires school and loads of money.


Mom, Dad--can I move back home please? Forever?

Theresa